"If Timothy W. Long's writing was a girl, I'd totally let her spit in my mouth." -Matt Dinniman, the dude who wrote DUNGEON CRAWLER CARL In a not-so-distant future, Earth is at the mercy of a rogue quantum AI, with the power to manipulate time, space, and reality. This once-benign creation has gone off the rails, turning our world into a chaotic, dystopian landscape straight out of a video game. Amidst this madness, Liam, an ordinary man, is thrust into the role of Earth's unlikely savior. Tasked with rebooting the entire planet, he must navigate a world where the rules of physics are as malleable as the whims of the AI that controls it. From battling monsters to solving mind-bending puzzles, every step brings him closer to his ultimate goal - or to total annihilation. But with the AI's unpredictable nature and the fate of Earth hanging in the balance, the question remains: Can Liam break the game and save Earth, or will he be the final pawn in the AI's twisted game of control? This isn't just a game. It's a quest to unf*ck the future. Dungeons and Dragons and Dad Jokes Heavy metal bards Scurrynooks (totally not goblins) Stabby McStabbyface. No harems, no overt sexual content. Boss battles that are like group therapy A 1970s pimp Lava lamps Stats Lights Deeply plot-driven