In Old San Juan a 40+ year old divorcée is not aware he befriends a vampire who bites women, not in their necks but in their derrières, leaving them with flattened behinds. A vampire hunter from Europe warns Celestino about his neighbor and tries to recruit his help in salvaging a much cherished national heritage. But there is a difficulty: this vampire will not die by a stake through his heart and to avoid destruction he wears tin underwear.