Vladimir Dracula III, a relative of the original Dracula, has seen better days. He's bald, has blue skin, has trouble talking, and he keeps the three vampire women he created locked up in his dirty, disgusting basement full of blue tarps. When a sexy vampiress ninja starts attacking people for their blood, two sassy FBI agents suspect that Vlad is behind it. He hires a lawyer and falls in love at first sight. Unfortunately she has her own baggage in the form of Tony, a pig of a boyfriend that wants to bully Vlad and oil up his thralls. Vlad's only chance for happiness is to prove his innocence and get Tony out of the picture.