Reviews

Cronos: The New Dawn

“This game is like dead space and silent hill had a baby and I mean that in the best possible way. Horror game fans, please give this slept on gem a try”

Kirkletonn · 21h ago

Quip C

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

“My dad told me he tried to get me to watch this when I was 3. He sat me down and started the movie. I had a decent attention span for most movies and would watch and ask questions. Apparently it took all of 30 minutes for me to stand up and walk out of the room. I had better things to do. I can appreciate what it is for most people but I can only muster cold apathy for Elliot, Gertie and ET.”

Adam Milton · 1d ago

Joker

“I really disliked this movie. It was immature and played at depth but with a middle schooler's understanding or tragedy. A shallow film and favorite of the woebegone, the quietly seething and the callow. Let me be clear: the tenuous connections to the DC universe or their characters is not what I dislike. The framing of tragedy and mental illness is what gets me. So glad I bootlegged this movie.”

Adam Milton · 1d ago

Slay the Spire II

“140 hours in and the spires are still there. Perfect for game night with all of your autistic friends.”

Electric Sheep · 1d ago

Twilight

“It's TWILIGHT. If you rate it any lower than an A, you are too cool to have fun.”

luxurycrypt · 2d ago

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

“I think my grandmother said it best: "Me and Harrison Ford are about the same age. Why would I want to watch him shuffle around a movie set?" I swear is she generally much nicer than that. Shes right though. This movie was cheeks.”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

“I knew this was bad when I was a child. I was upset they recast April O'Neil and it wasn't set in New York. They even changed the effects company that made the turtle suits which was a huge downgrade. Huge bummer of a film.”

The Last Airbender

“The show Avatar: The Last Airbender arrived on the scene when I was must too old to enjoy it. So I wasn't invested in the property before seeing this film. What I can say is that this movie was hot garbage. Despite the talented cast this movie is poorly shot, poorly acted and edited. Like...wow. It even had the gall to set up its own sequel. The audacity.”

The Musketeer

“I saw this in theaters in high school. Despite the fun stunts/wirework it was just awful. I remember a shot seeing Tim Roth go down a ladder, face first, replete with a eye patch, into the camera, grimacing the entire time. My father turned to me and said "Thats something you would see in a three stooges movie." And that was not a compliment.”

Ready or Not

“Tonally inconsistent, often painfully unfunny, slow and awkward. While a couple of the cast members tried to put up a fight against the tacky script, ultimately the writers were too far gone to be saved from themselves.”

One Another · 2d ago

Quip B

The Road

“This was bleak. Like even for a McCarthy novel. You want to sit in the sun, hold a loved one while you read this. Well written and classic McCarthy prose.”

Quip B+

The Last Murder at the End of the World

“At first I didn't like this book but what I did not like was revealed to be twist, purposeful and required to tell the story. Once that crystalized for me the story was a lot more enjoyable and when it ended I was left with a warm feeling. I may return to this in a few years, see if I can enjoy it more the second time around.”

Quip B

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

“I didn't personally dig the art style but it is interesting and think it serves the themes of the movie. Funny and fun this is a really good interpretation of a classic property. Also this movie gets points for making the Turtles act and feel like teenagers. They are nervous around girls, afraid to disappoint their father, and run jokes into the ground. Its refreshing to see that.”

Quip C

Blackhat

“Wow. What a bland, bland, bland movie. I bought it on faith that Michael Mann would deliver at least a interesting movie. I want to give this a movie lower than a C but it didn't attempt anything bold enough to be that bad. If movies are meals this movie was a stale saltine with the salt brushed off.”

The Master

“An acting tour de force which lifts its script from fascinating to compelling. Hoffman, Adams, and Phoenix provide some of the best performances of their career. Anderson displays some of his best shot compositions, all of which are backed by gripping, pace-keeping score.”

Electric Sheep · 2d ago

Quip A+

Avatar Aang: The Last Airbender

“For anyone who loved the original series, this movie will make you smile ear to ear for 1 hour and 39 minutes. It’s the most beautifully animated project in all of the franchise and it’s hard not to be reminded why we adored the series as kids.”

MonkeyDPoopy · 2d ago

Quip A-

Speak

“I read this for a class in college that focused on Young Adult Literature. YA Lit gets a bad rap, and its a rap that genre earned from dozens of rushed movie adaptations and thinly veiled allegories for the social politics of middle and high school. This book was different. I enjoyed the story and I thought the prose were well done. Perfect for the young & serious reader in you life.”

Adam Milton · 3d ago

Quip A-

MLB The Show 23

“Its hard to review sports simulations because I really focus on the the franchise mode and this game has so much more to offer. There is a whole section of the game focused on the Nergo Leagues. I never played that. The on the field game play is appropriately hard given how difficult it is to hit a baseball but the game doesn't make it impossible. And as you improve the game can scale with you.”

Adam Milton · 3d ago

The Sixth Sense

“Lightning in a bottle. Still holds up as a tight, focused thriller. Spoiled and memed to hell and back, but still a classic. It's unfortunate that Shyamalan had to chase this dragon the rest of his career.”

Electric Sheep · 4d ago